Narcissism has turn into the armchair prognosis of the last decade. Social media is awash with folks flinging the label round. Everybody’s ex appears to be a narcissist, a few of our dad and mom are beneath suspicion, and that workplace villain? They undoubtedly tick the field, too.

The accuracy of those rampant diagnoses warrants scepticism. However the actuality is narcissists do exist. At its excessive, narcissism is a uncommon psychological well being prognosis, often called narcissistic character dysfunction. However narcissism additionally describes a cluster of character traits, which all of us show to various levels.

For these of us who’ve been in shut quarters with somebody excessive in narcissistic traits, we not often stroll away unscathed. And we could also be left with lingering questions. For instance, what made them this fashion?

In a latest meta-analysis, my colleagues and I pulled collectively research inspecting the hyperlink between narcissism and grownup attachment kinds. Our findings supply an essential clue – particularly in terms of the potential roots of weak narcissism.

Sorts of narcissism

There are two essential kinds of narcissism.

Grandiose narcissism is what sometimes involves thoughts. It’s characterised by an overtly grandiose, aggressive and dominant interpersonal fashion. In distinction, weak narcissism is marked by introversion, hypersensitivity to criticism, and a defensive, insecure grandiosity that masks fragile shallowness.

Antagonistic traits akin to entitlement, manipulation, and a scarcity of empathy lie on the core of each narcissism sorts. This helps to clarify the interpersonal difficulties linked to every.

Weak narcissism, specifically, has been linked to a variety of dangerous behaviours in romantic relationships. People excessive on this trait usually tend to have interaction in love bombing, ghosting and breadcrumbing.

Additionally they are likely to report decrease relationship satisfaction, maintain extra permissive attitudes in the direction of infidelity and perpetrate intimate accomplice violence at greater charges.

Safe versus insecure attachment

Researchers have turned to attachment kinds to assist clarify how people excessive in narcissism behave in romantic relationships.

Attachment principle proposes that early experiences with major caregivers form our beliefs about ourselves and others. These beliefs are thought to persist into maturity and affect how we expertise and navigate grownup relationships.

If we felt secure, liked and supported as youngsters, we usually tend to have a constructive view of our self and others. That is the hallmark of safe attachment, which lays the muse for wholesome, steady relationships in maturity.

However when early relationships are marked by neglect, inconsistency or abuse, they may give rise to insecure attachment kinds. Grownup attachment fashions usually determine three kinds of insecure attachment.

Preoccupied attachment develops from a unfavourable view of the self and a constructive view of others. People with this fashion typically really feel unworthy of affection and search fixed reassurance in relationships, fearing rejection and abandonment.

Dismissive attachment is rooted in a constructive view of the self however a unfavourable view of others. These people are likely to prioritise independence over intimacy. Because of this, they typically wrestle to kind deep connections.

Fearful attachment entails unfavourable views of each the self and others. These with this fashion sometimes crave connection whereas on the identical time fearing it, resulting in push-pull dynamics in relationships.

An attention-grabbing sample

In our meta-analysis, we mixed the outcomes of 33 earlier research comprising greater than 10,000 individuals to look at how narcissism pertains to every of the 4 grownup attachment kinds. General, narcissism was linked to every of the three insecure attachment kinds.

However after we seemed on the two kinds of narcissism individually, an attention-grabbing sample emerged. Weak narcissism was persistently linked to insecure attachment kinds – with associations of reasonable power for preoccupied and fearful attachment kinds.

In distinction, grandiose narcissism confirmed no such hyperlink.

Does this imply insecure attachment causes weak narcissism? Not essentially. The research we reviewed had been “correlational”, which suggests they checked out connections, not causes. So we will’t say attachment kinds trigger weak narcissism. To reply that, we’d want longitudinal analysis monitoring folks over time.

Nonetheless, our findings recommend that insecure attachment – notably preoccupied and fearful attachment kinds – could also be an essential threat issue within the improvement of weak narcissism.

In fact, not everybody with an insecure attachment fashion has excessive ranges of weak narcissism. Nonetheless, for some, weak narcissism could emerge as a defensive coping technique that arises when early attachments had been marked by inconsistency, neglect or abuse.

Therapeutic childhood wounds

Attachment kinds are usually pretty constant all through an individual’s life, nevertheless change is feasible. Attachment-focused therapies, akin to schema remedy and emotionally focussed remedy, may help people heal attachment wounds and construct safer relationship patterns. These approaches could also be particularly useful for these excessive in weak narcissism.

On the identical time, it will be important that households have entry to free and well timed psychological well being care, in order that youngsters are supported to course of and heal from trauma earlier than it shapes their grownup relationships, and the way in which they mum or dad the subsequent technology.

However prevention is best than treatment.

Supporting dad and mom and caregivers to construct safe attachments with the their youngsters and equipping them with the instruments to mum or dad successfully is crucial. That is particularly pressing given disturbingly excessive charges of kid maltreatment in Australia, together with emotional abuse, bodily abuse and neglect – all of which have been linked to the event of weak narcissism.

We don’t have to look too far to see the price of turning a blind eye.