Day 66: Was the Shella ship real? – BBNaija | Large Brother: Stage Up | Africa Magic

Afrigather
September 28, 2022
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@griiezzi6951 says:
September 28, 2022 at 2:50 pm

Between God and man, Adekunle no suppose dey dat house till nw

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@Florenceboadi3953 says:
September 28, 2022 at 3:26 pm

Bryan’s way of thinking is top notch 😍

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@naomichisenga3972 says:
September 28, 2022 at 3:40 pm

Gossip man🤣🤣🤣

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@patternsamazing says:
September 28, 2022 at 3:57 pm

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Sheggz and Bella: Big Brother’s Cradle of Emotional Abuse
Ebuka had an interview with Sheggz – the evicted housemate who had Bella as his love interest in the house. Ebuka tried to highlight to him the tonality of abuse which characterised the demeaning, on-screen relationship he shared with Bella. His response was both tactless and revealing. It disclosed his ignorance about the subject of emotional abuse, his unwillingness to admit his character as an abuser and his audacity to present his age as an infantile excuse for his spitefulness.

Patterns of emotional abuse include:
1. The content of someone’s words. For example they say things like:

a. You make such stupid decisions
b. You never do anything right and
c. Nobody else will ever love you.

2. Tone and none verbal cues such as:
a. yelling,
b. ignoring and
c. showing contempt through body language.

3. Reaction: How someone reacts to being told they have said or done something hurtful can show important insight.
a. Do they apologise sincerely and act differently in the future?
b. Do they dismiss and minimize the pain they have caused?
c. Do they make excuses for their behaviour?

4. When someone directs any of these behaviours at you take note whether this is part of a pattern of behaviour for them. Abusers rarely engage in abuse 100 percent of the time, there are moments of kindness and calm. These do not invalidate moments of abuse but are actually a part of the cycle of emotional manipulation.

See how this 4-step pattern is manifested in the interview.
Step 1 and 2: Content and tone:
He yelled: ‘Shut the f**k up you not my mother’ amongst other things while in the house.
Step 3: Does not apologise rather minimizes the hurt he caused with an excuse. “I am 26”
Step 4: Emphasizes that he is nice 90 percent of the time. Thereby establishing a pattern or cycle of emotional manipulation.

This is an excerpt from the interview:
Ebuka:
“The one thing that tipped it over for most people was the away you talked to her; … how you would say WORDS to her.
I think the one time that stood out to many people was when there was a fight … and Bella said: ‘Sheggz, I don’t know why you are explaining yourself.’
And you said: ‘Shut the f**k up you not my mother.’

Sheggz:
Nine times out of ten I never speak to Bella like that. Bella is somebody that I tie her shoe laces, I make her food and I make sure she is good. I am constantly caring for her… I did everything to show that this is the way a man should love a woman because that is what I learned where I am coming from … so if I had two or three times where, maybe, I wasn’t always perfect, I am 26. I am growing and learning every day.