26 Barely Cursed White Elephant Reward Concepts

White elephant presents are typically an afterthought—that is the one reward alternate that gives an excuse to slack off, and other people actually do. At finest, white elephant members carelessly wade into the swamp of deliberately humorous gag presents and wacky doodads that the web sells in abundance, choosing issues like foolish socks, pickle-shaped bandages, cutesy fridge magnets, or different gimmicks that aren’t truly that humorous. At worst, white elephant reward givers use the occasion as a possibility offload undesirable junk of their home onto certainly one of their mates or coworkers.

However this information is aiming for one thing totally different. One thing higher. The perfect white elephant presents are issues which are, frankly, just a little bit cursed. What I imply by that’s gadgets which have some type of disarming, uncanny high quality to them that genuinely catches folks abruptly, which, in flip, makes for a greater sport of white elephant. Deliberately humorous gag presents are to be anticipated, so bringing one thing that’s unintentionally humorous is far more satisfying—it simply requires a bit extra creativity.

That’s why I compiled this record of barely cursed white elephant reward concepts that will help you carry the bizarre to your upcoming white elephant reward alternate. There’s a normal meals theme, as a result of that is Bon Appétit, in spite of everything. However every merchandise was chosen particularly as a result of I assumed it contained some stage of cursedness. There’s no official rubric I used to find out this cursedness, however I’ll go into extra element about every merchandise and why it matches the invoice beneath.

Tin of cow udder moisturizer (that’s nice for fingers too)

Initially, dairy farmers in Vermont used Bag Balm to stop chapped udders within the brutal New England winter. Individuals have been utilizing it on their very own fingers for simply as lengthy. That is excellent for the individual in your loved ones who at all times will get caught on dish responsibility.

A knife for a kid

Analysis reveals that it’s truly a completely nice concept to provide knives to kids, however that doesn’t make it any much less disconcerting to consider.

Alarmingly flavored cereal

When this field confirmed up on the workplace a couple of months in the past, those that dared to style its contents reacted with shock and concern. The cereal is coated with an additive with a surprisingly potent cooling impact. And no, it isn’t menthol, it’s one thing else apparently.

Threateningly tall candles

Taper candles? Completely regular and good. Tall taper candles that loom over your head at dinner? Nonetheless good, however not so regular…

A smart family important

This traditional tome by nineteenth century cooking pioneer Fannie Farmer options beloved favorites like Wheat Mush with Egg, Beef Tea, and a heat and fuzzy recipe dubbed Invalid Muffins—simply the factor to carry again fond recollections of your Victorian workhouse days.

A enjoyable security reminder!

Do you know {that a} stunning quantity of classic dishes and glassware comprise lead? You’ll be able to write that on just a little folded-up observe and tape it to the bottle to essentially decide to the Debbie Downer bit.

Doomsday butter

When that is all wrapped up, folks would possibly assume it is a bulk jar of peanut-butter-filled pretzels or path combine from Costco. Little do they know that it’s truly doomsday butter. Jokes apart, you may truly do quite a lot of cool issues with dehydrated butter. Individuals find it irresistible for baking, for enriching sauces and gravies, and for making do-it-yourself popcorn seasoning.

EDM collab air fryer

What’s higher than an everyday air fryer? An air fryer made in collaboration with well-known helmet-wearing EDM DJ Marshmello. What’s that? I can’t hear you over this gnarly scorching! If that is overkill, and it most likely is, you may go for his cookbook instead.

Radioactive juicer

If you happen to thought lead was the one drawback with classic cookware, assume once more! Nothing could possibly be extra “Barbenheimer” than a classic radioactive citrus juicer. (Word: whereas it isn’t a good suggestion to make use of this for meals, it’s totally safe to have round…)

*Click on click on click on click on*

This one is an effective one-two punch with the juicer above, however you may also use it to check the radioactivity of bananas, Brazil nuts, or typically even faucet water!

Style-altering berries

Consuming a miracle berry will quickly alter your style buds and trigger bitter issues to style candy, amongst different adjustments. Which is enjoyable, but additionally unsettling in the event you’ve by no means skilled it earlier than.

Nut butter for canine that you may additionally eat if you would like

This peanut butter is actually good. I know this from experience. Any canine, or individual, can be fortunate to have a style.

This factor!

Does this truly deodorize issues? Is there a soul behind that thousand-yard stare ? Will it begin whispering in the midst of the night time? All good questions, all good questions…

Banana vessel

You recognize the state of affairs. You end up completely struggling to complete your banana and simply want you had some option to, I don’t know, hook the half-eaten stays onto a carabiner and fasten it to a backpack or water bottle.

Web meme beans

The explanation these beans are barely cursed completely has to do with this long-running common subreddit r/beansinthings, by which folks put these beans in issues, all for a great chortle.

Pulpy homicide thriller meals fiction

There’s a thriving subgenre of food-themed homicide thriller books. On this one, a caterer/murder investigator named Goldy will get to the underside of a suspicious dying at a cosmetics firm banquet.

A beloved deal with from Northern Europe

Not attempting to yuck anyone’s yum right here, however lots of people on this planet love salty licorice. However even the most important salty licorice lovers will admit to it being a considerably difficult sweet.

The endgame of the tinned fish development

Hear, I really like tinned fish as a lot as the subsequent individual however this actually appears like a bridge too far. Or, perhaps it’s cute? I don’t know anymore. Somebody will most likely need this, although.

The pumpernickel with the couple that is about to f*#& on it

What’s so attractive about pumpernickel bread? You will should ask these two…

A snack with a commanding presence

A barrel of cheese balls is cursed not due to what it’s, however as a result of what it could flip folks into. And what it could flip them into is ravenous cheese-ball-eating fiends, with powdery orange fingers and mustaches.

Customized meals allergy merch

As somebody with a shellfish allergy, the concept of sporting garments proudly asserting this reality is each baffling and hilarious. This shirt particularly additionally takes it to a sort of winky-slash-sexy route, which is even weirder. In fact, ideally, you’d carry this to a white elephant the place you already know somebody with a meals allergy can be in attendance.

Just a few traditional gag humor

I make an exception for sensible joke presents after they take the type of an exquisite overturned fruit cocktail.

A develop package with a thoughts of its personal

This reward is cursed as a result of one time I had certainly one of these and I left it in a closet and forgot about it and located weeks later that it had burst out of the packaging and began rising completely by itself.

This deep-cut Quadratini taste

Cheese Quadratini is an exceptionally elite and uncommon Quadratini taste. It’s salty, candy, and a perfect social gathering meals that may take you abruptly with its complicated taste.

A merciless simulacrum of want

There’s an excellent duality to the mini Le Creuset. It may function a taunting reminder of what one doesn’t have, or you may conveniently hold salt in it.

“Assist, I’m being baked alive!”

Pie birds might fire up nostalgia for some folks. I’ve at all times discovered the way in which they appear baking away within the oven—necks craned upward, mouths agape in horror whereas steam spews from them—to be just a little disturbing.