There isn’t any sports activities motion I detest greater than celeb boxing. I’m not going to clutch pearls over the way it destroys the “sanctity of the candy science,” or something like that — although I completely perceive if die-hard boxing followers really feel that approach. Fairly, my gripe stems from the truth that it’s simply extremely dumb and boring.
The worst half if seeing folks have to fake like this can be a actual sport. You’ll be able to pull up superior stats on the punch charge from Jake Paul, as an illustration, loving put collectively by somebody who loves the interior workings of boxing, however has to cut back their craft to pointless nonsense. Clearly there’s ludicrous curiosity in seeing in case your favourite YouTuber may even final a spherical with Floyd Mayweather, which is why folks purchase these PPVs — however it additionally means we see stuff like this.
There needs to be a greater approach to settle faux on-line beef in an actual area, whereas satiating our thirst for violence. Celeb slapping is the way in which. The UFC’s Dana White is bringing the “Energy Slap League” to america subsequent 12 months, with different slap-based occasions collaborating previously.
It’s precisely what you assume it’s. Simply two folks hauling off and slapping one another as exhausting as they will. It’s the baking present Nailed It! equal to the UFC’s British Bake Off. Simple to devour violent hilarity, that doesn’t actually require athletic prowess past slapping somebody — and understanding the place to slap somebody.
I don’t have a particular need to observe influencers, YouTubers and former NFL gamers dance round a boxing ring pretending like they know how one can throw a punch. I do, nonetheless, have a protracted checklist of influencers, YouTubers and former NFL gamers I’d like to see get the shit slapped out of them.
Certain, there are critics and bonafide issues about slap combating. At excessive ranges we’re speaking about hulking brutes placing one another as exhausting as potential with ungloved palms, leading to loads of horrific knockouts. Like boxing although, I don’t assume random “celebrities” will be capable to hit that arduous, so it’ll simply be an opportunity to see them slap one another.
This was we will protect the game of boxing, transfer the sideshow to a sideshow sport, and guarantee we truly see a few of humanity’s most annoying folks hit one another for actual within the face, the way in which God supposed.
I don’t know the way we make this occur. Usually I’d recommend Tweeting at Dana White or one thing, however given the way in which Twitter is spiraling round the bathroom bowl I don’t know if there’ll nonetheless be a web site by the point slap combating turns into a factor. In any occasion, for now it’ll simply be a dream. An exquisite, magical dream.